When someone you love is living with dementia, moments of restlessness, confusion, or distress can feel overwhelming for both of you.
 You want to help.
 You want them to feel safe again.
 But often, we just don’t know what to say or do.

At Vazhikatti, we see this daily. The question every caregiver asks is:

“How do I calm them down instantly without making things worse?”

Here’s the answer:
Remember the 3 Rs:

Reassure. Redirect. Repeat.

Why Do Dementia Patients Get Restless?

Dementia isn’t just memory loss.
 It affects thinking, perception, and emotional processing.

They may:

• Feel lost in familiar spaces
   
• Struggle to recognize loved ones
   
• Misinterpret sounds or shadows
   
• Imagine threats that don’t exist
   

These experiences trigger fear, confusion, or anger, not by choice, but because the brain is changing.

What Not to Do

Don’t argue with them.
Don’t raise your voice.
Don’t force logic.

Trying to “correct” a person with dementia during distress only escalates the situation.
Instead, try this proven approach we recommend at VMHC.

The 3R Formula to Calm a Dementia Patient

1. Reassure

Gently move closer.
Hold their hand if they allow.
Look them in the eye.

Speak slowly and softly. Say something like:
 “It’s okay. I’m here with you. You’re safe.”

This simple reassurance helps them feel secure in the moment.
Sometimes, that’s all they need.

Connection calms confusion. Touch and tone matter more than the words.

2. Redirect

Once they’re slightly calmer, gently shift their attention to something comforting or engaging.

Examples:

• “Do you want some water?”
   
• “Shall we sit near the window?”
   
• “Want to look at your photo album?”
   

Avoid saying “You’re wrong” or “Don’t say that.”
 Instead, offer a choice or a new activity that aligns with their current emotional state.

This reduces overthinking and helps break the emotional loop they’re stuck in.

3. Repeat

If they’re stuck on a topic - say, asking about someone or something repeatedly, don’t lose patience.

Calmly repeat your answer.
Again, and again if needed.

Each time you repeat, you're reinforcing trust and safety.

Repetition isn’t a sign of failure, it’s a path to stability.

Even if they don’t remember your response, they’ll remember the feeling of being heard.

Why This Works

These 3Rs - Reassure, Redirect, Repeat are based on real-world dementia care experience at Vazhikatti and supported by global dementia care frameworks.

Together, they:

• Reduce agitation
   
• Prevent escalation
   
• Help you connect emotionally
   
• Improve the quality of life for both patient and caregiver
   

And most importantly…
 They preserve dignity, even when memory fades.

A Real Example from Our Practice

Recently, a family came to Vazhikatti overwhelmed. Their father, in early-stage dementia, would become restless every evening, asking repeatedly to go to his childhood home.

We guided them to apply the 3Rs:

• Reassure: “You’re safe here, Pa. We’re all with you.”
   
• Redirect: “Let’s look at some photos from those days.”
   
• Repeat: When he asked again, they gently answered again, without frustration.
   

Within days, evenings became peaceful, not perfect, but much more manageable.

This is the power of compassionate communication.

What Should You Do Next?

If you're caring for someone with dementia, remember this:

You don’t have to fix the memory.
You just have to protect the moment.

Reach out to us at 75075 50050 to speak with a dementia care expert at Vazhikatti.
 We’re here to support you and your loved one through every stage of this journey.

Final Words

Dementia care isn’t about perfect answers.
It’s about gentle presence, emotional intelligence, and knowing when to pause… and just hold a hand.

At Vazhikatti, we walk with you every step of the way.

To seek professional support from the best psychiatrist for dementia treatment, contact Vazhikatti Mental Health Centre.